Date: Sat, 6 MAY 1995 09:47:20 -0500 
From: Steve Kinzler <oracle-admin@cs.indiana.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle
Subject: Best of Usenet Oracularities #701-725 

Selected-By: Dave Disser <disser@engin.umich.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oracle most wise, whose knowlege-base is deeper than the ocean
> trenches, who has cataloged every lifeform know and unknown (including
> us petty humans) -- harken to my pitiful call for your guidance!
>
> While exploring some Native American sites in the heartlands of the US,
> I recently came upon a curious creature.  The antics of the animal
> were, I must admit, cute.  And my daughter, who had accompanied me on
> our expedition, convinced me to let her keep it as a pet.  Pray tell,
> what is it?  I include a sketch I made:
>
>       (\__/)
>       /O O `.
>      (O__,   \
>        / .  . )
>        |-| '-' \
>       .(   _(   )
>      '---.~_ _ _&

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} **  **  SCANNING SKETCH  **  **
}
} Running probability checks...
}
} Region---> Heartlands of the U.S.A.
}
} Probablility Chart........
} Buffalo............. 0.9%
} Kangaroo............ 1.3%
} Gopher.............. 9.3%
} Groundhog...........21.5%
} Woodchuck...........67.0%
}
} Running analysis of ASCII characters...
}
} Character set and usage.
}
} Probablilty Chart.........
} Gopher.............. 0.1%
} Bald Eagle.......... 9.6%
} Lemur...............27.2%
} Woodchuck...........63.1%
}
} Running analysis of cuteness...
}
} Parent/Child Cuteness agreement...
}
} Probability Chart.........
} Barney.............-97.4%
} Rabbit............. 22.3%
} Woodchuck..........174.9%
}
} Running Quarterback/Defense checkup...
}
} Probability Chart.........
} Stan Humphries...... 2.1%
} Steve Young.........97.9%
}
} Heh heh, whoops.... Super Bowl pick ;)
}
} Running General Statistical Analysis...
}
} Woodchuck..........100.0%
}
} Congratulations, you now are the proud owner of an official woodchuck.
}
} Let me assist you in the general, basic care of a woodchuck.
}
} *>ZOT<*
}
} You owe The San Diego Chargers a lot of help, courtesy of the Oracle.