Date: Mon, 31 OCT 1994 12:48:10 -0500 
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle
Subject: Usenet Oracularities Digest #687 

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Selected-By: Dr. Noe <noe@hal.cs.uiuc.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> When will we be upgraded to 2.0?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You mean you haven't been reading the trade papers?
}
} After God subcontracted the Millennial operating system to Microsoft,
} Bill Gates announced a new OS code named "Ubermensch" that would
} remedy the most glaring defects of Humanitas 1.0: mortality, the 7
} Deadly Bugs, inability to multitask or frequent General Protection
} Faults.
}
} Microsoft has been plagued by cost overruns, difficulties in making
} the new system backwardly compatible with the large installed base
} of Cro-Magnon and Paleolithic software still in use, and most
} importantly staff defection to the Great Enemy, the Antigates,
} Linus Torvalds, whose free Humix system is already running on several
} million hackers.  Most humiliating of all, billions of ordinary users
} are turning to IBM's new release of HumOS/2, which is said to be
} even capable of running the wildly popular shareware theology
} game "DAMN".
}
} Ubermensch has been re-named "Humanitas 3001", though Microsoft is
} not actually committing to a firm 3001 release date.