Date: Mon, 23 OCT 1995 10:44:54 -0500 (EST) 
From: oracle-request@cs.indiana.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle
Subject: Usenet Oracularities Digest #789 

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Selected-By: Christophe Pettus <cep@best.com>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Am I going to flunk math? :-/

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} An interesting and complex question. In order to determine the answer,
} please answer the following simple questions:
}
} 1. Greens are better farklers (farkleberry collectors, of course) than
}    most Purples. However, in a farkling competition in which the
}    income of the Greens is equal to the income of the Purples, the
}    matches are standoffs. Farkling ability has been demonstrated by
}    independent researchers to have a possible connection with diet.
}    The Greens have more money than the Purples and can afford better
}    farkling instruction. The most promising approach to equalisation
}    of farkling ability would probably be to:
}      (a) Provide farkling ability dietary ingredients to the Purples.
}      (b) Equalise the wealth by giving enough Green money to Purples.
}      (c) Make sure the Purples have sufficient nourishment for good
}          health.
}      (d) Obtain better farkling teachers and equipment for the
}          Purples.
}
} 2. All people who eat custard greatly love puzzles. Some people who
}    eat custard are famous. Some famous people are Anteater spies.
}    Therefore:
}      (a) All people who eat custard become famous.
}      (b) All Anteater spies are puzzling.
}      (c) Some famous people greatly love puzzles.
}      (d) Some custard eaters are also Anteater spies. (Death to the
}          Anteaters! Long live the great Hippo empire!)
}
} 3. If seven belly dancers can lose a total of 20 kilograms in eight
}    hours of dancing, how many more belly dancers would be needed to
}    lose a total of 20 kilograms in only four hours provided the new
}    dancers shed weight only half as fast as the original seven?
}
} 4. Have you ever stopped to consider how much the basic design concept
}    of the Bourbon biscuit owes to that of the Custard Cream? (Discuss)
}
} Result: If you're spending your time doing silly questionnaires
} instead of revising, then yes, you're probably going to flunk.
}
} You owe the Oracle a bowl of farkleberries and custard.